We are all nothing until someone thinks we are
by bloodyXwhiteXrabbit
Summary: long title I know. Yuuta is having a little crisis and Shun is there to pick up the pieces.  As a friend or maybe more? ;  suit yourself


AN sooooo, this is my second Shuuta story^^ It is rather serious and not really cuddly different from how we know them  
>but I thought that maybe these thoughts were revolving in Yuuta's mind over and over. And of course Shun is there to pick up the pieces^^<br>I have never written a dialogue like this, I am still new to the whole story thing, so I am open for any help regarding mistakes.

so, without any further delay, have fun and maybe review 3

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><p>This was going to be a long and tiring day, Yuuta Asaba thought.<br>Class was boring already and because he overslept he had to skip breakfast.  
>Now he was bored, hungry and to top it off he was experiencing a major migraine.<br>As the teacher went on explaining the proper use of future terms in English, Yuuta just tuned him out.  
>Looking for something more interesting than the teachers eyebrows, – they resembled caterpillars in a strange way - he turned his head to see what his neighbour, Shun Matsuoka, was doing.<br>He had to suppress a chuckle as he saw Shun visibly struggling with the subject.  
>Shun had a concentrated look on his face and was constantly scribbling notes. But as the explanation got more complex,<br>Shun's face grew more and more desperate until with a disappointed sigh he lay down his pen and closed his eyes.  
>Suddenly Yuuta felt the urge to comfort his friend but before he was even able to whisper some encouraging words to Shun, the said boy looked up.<br>At first he seemed to be surprised that Yuuta was staring at him but relaxed immediately and smiled at him in an almost embarrassed way.  
>Yuuta smiled back.<br>Shun looked back at the teacher but appeared to have given up on listening again  
>and as if an idea had suddenly crossed his mind he started scribbling again.<br>Yuuta tried to sneak a peek at what he was doing but Shun caught him in the act and covered his work with his hand, smiling amused.  
>After a short while Shun put his hand down and pushed the notebook towards Yuuta.<br>Neatly drawn unto the page was a tiny stick-figure that carried the word English in a bold and apparently heavy font.  
>The little figure had an exhausted look on its face and beneath the figure Shun had written something: <p>

_I'm dying here^^'', how are you holding up? _

Now suppressing a chuckle was impossible and Yuuta saw that Shun smiled even wider.  
>Of course Yuuta would have liked to respond with a nice drawing as well, but he was not that strong when it came to art so he just settled with writing his answer down.<p>

_About to fall asleep…_

After reading it Shun smiled and started to draw a reply, when the teachers hand crushed onto the table. "Matsuoka-kun!"  
>startled, Shun sat up straight and faced the teacher in the front. "Y…yes, sensei?" he stuttered. "It's ok not to pay attention at all; I mean your grades are great. Oh wait, they aren't!"<br>with every word Shun sank lower in his chair. "To improve them you would have to listen and not doodle around in class!"  
>The teacher kept on scolding poor Shun until the bell rang and he was freed from being humiliated in front of the whole class.<p>

"Maaaan, that was embarrassing." Shun sighed as he packed his bag. "Mhmm" Yuuta replied, waiting for his friend to finish stuffing his things away.  
>"What do you want to eat for lunch?" Yuuta looked up confused. "Did I forget tell you? I won't eat with you today; I have an appointment at the doctor's, to get my flu injection."<br>Yuuta shook his head. "You didn't tell us." Giving him an apologetic look, Shun lifted his bag and swung it over his shoulder.  
>"Sorry. Well, I have to go and pick up my brother. Have a nice day and please greet the others from me, I'll see you tomorrow."<br>Happily he waved and left, leaving Yuuta standing in the classroom.  
>Great day indeed.<p>

As he reached the rooftop, Yuuta's mood got even worse. Kaname and Chizuru were in high spirits, meaning: they were fighting and pissing each other off.  
>Well Chizuru pissed Kaname off and was cheered on by Yuuki, Yuuta's younger twin brother.<br>Normally teasing Kaname was fun and if he didn't feel like participating he'd just talk to Shun or watch them chasing each other around.  
>But now that Shun was absent the only other person on the rooftop was Masaki, an annoying girl that stuck to Shun like glue.<br>It was bearable to have her around when Shun was there to calm her aggressive temper but as it was now, lunchtime was going to be filled with bickering and flying food.  
>Nothing he could endure with a migraine pounding in his head. He was about to turn around and wanted to leave unnoticed when he heard Chizuru calling him.<br>"Yuuuuta-kuuun! Where are you going?" annoyed, Yuuta sighed and turned around again and walked towards the loud and cheerful group.

After school, Yuuta's mood hadn't gotten any better; he had received a bad mark in math and had fallen asleep during history class.  
>Now he was following Yuuki to a bookstore to buy a new volume of his brother's favourite Anime magazine.<br>He looked at some of the Mangas but put them back shortly after, they just weren't his thing.  
>But then again, what was his thing? During middle school he did Kendo and he liked it but he wasn't that great, no comparison to Yuuki.<br>He didn't read books, he didn't listen to music very often, he didn't go out in the evening and he wasn't really fashionable. Yuuta sighed, he never did anything.  
>He even waited until Yuuki wasn't around to play his video games because he sucked. Ok, maybe it was a bit harsh to say that he sucked; he simply couldn't reach, let alone surpass his brother's skills.<br>He found it frustrating that whenever he went through a list of clubs he came to the conclusion that he wasn't meant for any of them.  
>He only joined the tea ceremony club because Shun would have been alone otherwise and it was nice to spend time with Shun like that.<br>Still, Yuuta had nothing on his own, nothing that was unique about him, even his looks weren't unique!  
>And with that his mood had hit rock bottom.<p>

"Yuuta, I paid. Shall we go?" Yuuki asked, standing next to Yuuta with a heavy plastic bag.  
>But he didn't receive more than an annoyed nod from Yuuta. The way back home was silent.<br>Yuuki knew that something was up but he also knew that if he just left him alone, Yuuta would either tell him sooner or later or never at all.  
>Normally Yuuta would calm down and talk to Yuuki about his problems but if the problem was something like an internal conflict he always solved it on his own.<br>But after Yuuta hadn't calmed down in the evening and hadn't told Yuuki the reason he was upset, Yuuki felt the need to do something about it.

"Yuuta" Yuuki stuck his head into their room and saw Yuuta reading a school book.  
>"I really want a snack, but these stupid monsters keep pestering my town in the game. Could you please go down to the Conveni and get me some?" Yuuta sighed and threw the book on the bed.<br>Maybe some fresh air would help him clear his head.

Yuuta was lost in thought again. Why did he always help his brother and sometimes like this ran errands for him? Well, because he loved him. Still, he was pissed now, and his migraine still hadn't stopped.  
>He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice a person walking directly towards him.<br>"Yuuta?" he heard a familiar voice. Yuuta looked up and saw Shun standing in front of him.  
>He wore a thick cardigan to keep him warm from the cold evening breeze. "Shun, what are you doing here at this time?" Yuuta asked.<br>He was surprised to see him and surprised how he instantly started to calm down. He was almost embarrassed to be upset around Shun.  
>"Well I, ehm." Yuuta raised an eyebrow and Shun started fidgeting with his fingers as he tried to come up with a good excuse for his sudden appearance.<br>After a short while, though, he gave up "Yuuki told me that you are upset about something and that you don't want to tell him about what." he admitted, looking concerned and a bit embarrassed.  
>He raised his hands "I don't want to force you to talk or anything. You can if you want to but if you don't I'm okay with it, I just thought maybe we could talk or…" he kept on rambling and Yuuta couldn't help but smile, seeing Shun like this.<br>Suddenly he realized how cold it was and he started to shiver. "Oh, sorry" Shun quickly apologized.  
>"Maybe we could go for a walk instead of freezing to death here, right?" Yuuta agreed.<p>

After walking in complete silence for a while, they reached a colourful playground. Yuuta noticed that it was the playground where the four of them used to play when they were younger.  
>"Do you want to sit down?" Shun already walked towards the swings and sat down. He patted the swing to his right and smiled at Yuuta expectantly.<br>Yuuta took the offered swing and sat down, fixing his gaze on his sneakers.  
>The atmosphere was kind of thick and forced, and Yuuta wished that he could come up with something smart to break the silence.<p>

"Is it that bad?" Shun broke it first.

Looking up he saw that Shun was really concerned, his eyebrows drawn together and his eyes questioning.  
>That was unusual.<br>Normally Shun was careless. Of course he often reminded them to be careful when they were fooling around, and even if it was a serious situation he always kept his smile.  
>But now he was deeply worried.<br>No smile.  
>Worried about him, Yuuta thought.<p>

"It's not that bad, actually it's just stupid." He finally answered, hoping to soothe Shun's worries.  
>"If it was a trivial matter you would talk to Yuuki or you'd have calmed down already. But even I can tell that underneath you are brooding over something."<p>

Okay, his attempt at calming Shun down had failed.

"How can you tell? I look the same as always." Shun shook his head. "No you don't." he smiled and looked Yuuta directly in the eyes.  
>"I can tell because I know you."<p>

Yuuta lowered his head again.

"You know Yuuki as well and we look exactly the same. Can you tell when he's angry?"

Shun felt that slowly the calm surface of his friend was slipping.

"Is that the problem? Is it because of Yuuki, or me?"

Yuuta sighed, his migraine was back.

"No. There is no problem at all."  
>"If there is no problem, why are you so down?"<p>

No answer.

The two of them remained silent for a while.

"I can't, by the way" Shun said quietly.

Yuuta raised his head. "What?"

"I can't tell when Yuuki is angry. He's not you."

The pain in Yuuta's head intensified, and he wanted to tell Shun what haunted his thoughts all the time. He really did.  
>"You are right. We aren't the same. He is better than me."<p>

Shun frowned. "That's not true."

"Yes it is. He has a hobby he loves. He always seems like a magnet to people. And it's not only him! Everyone has got something or someone that they love.  
>I don't. I don't have anything. Nothing defines me."<br>He was almost yelling and expected seeing Shun disgusted or angry, but he was simply frowning. Not angry not full of pity but just sad.  
>As if Shun felt what he felt.<br>Yuuta couldn't face him and looked away. Shun remained silent, so Yuuta had the chance to calm his anger that dwelled up inside of him.

Shun, still sitting on the swing, turned around and looked around, when he found what he was looking for he softly pulled at Yuuta's sleeve.  
>Yuuta saw that his friend was pointing at something.<br>The pipes.  
>"Remember these big red pipes?" Shun asked.<br>"We often played with them when we were younger, but that's not the reason why I remember them.  
>It was in Kindergarten, when I was sad you came to comfort me while I was hiding in one the pipes there.<br>You told me that you liked me the way I am and that made me really happy, you don't even know just how happy." He cleared his throat.  
>"Well I guess I always assumed you were confident and okay, feeling at home in your own skin. But I was wrong. I am sorry for that. But never, never think that you are nothing.<br>We are all nothing until someone thinks we are something. And I think you are a lot. Caring, funny, thoughtful but also mischievously, mature and sometimes immature.  
>You can be very reliable and never seem to feel the need to rely on someone else. But there is one thing about you, something that makes a big difference between you and your brother.<br>Yuuki always gets what he wants; if he really wants something he'll do anything to get it. You don't. You always put the others first, and that makes you such a caring and loveable person.  
>But on the other hand most people are selfish and will use that kindness for their own benefit.<br>But no matter what hobbies someone has or if he's even good at what he does the person inside is what matters.  
>And when it comes to whether you are a good person or not, I know you are a great person.<br>Greater than most."

Silence.

Yuuta was somehow overwhelmed by the determination in Shun's words and simply stared at Shun.  
>Shun blushed.<br>"Wow I didn't know that there were so many words inside my head." When he saw that Yuuta simply stared he blushed even more.  
>"Oh no, I said something stupid didn't I?" he quickly got up and bowed down in front of Yuuta.<br>"Sorry, I am sorry!" Yuuta put his left hand on Shun's shoulder and got up himself.  
>His eyes stung and he felt stupid. His friend apologized for wanting to help and he was making a fuss over nothing.<br>He always thought of himself as nothing, but seeing his friend caring so much he somehow felt ashamed.

Shun looked up and his eyes widened.

"Yuuta? Are you cr…" he was cut off by Yuuta who had taken a step forward and let his head fall on Shun's shoulder.  
>He still tried to hold back those damn tears.<br>There was no reason for tears, was there?

Shun slowly raised his right hand and caressed Yuuta's head. Yuuta pulled Shun closer and the shorter boy put his left arm around him.  
>That small gesture made Yuuta lose his control and he let out a sob and started crying.<p>

He thanked god for Shun, even though his little breakdown would seem ridiculous to others,  
>Shun just held him and tried to calm him down as he let out all of his frustration and anger that had been building up for some time,<br>his fears of being nothing but a shadow of his brother, the insecurity of not knowing who he was and many other things.

After a while the tears stopped running and he let go of Shun.  
>The shorter boy had already pulled a tissue out of his pockets and handed it to Yuuta. "Thanks, for everything." He said with a husky voice.<br>Shun simply smiled and folded his hands behind his back. "It's okay. I'll always be there to help you, you know?" Yuuta nodded.  
>"Great, now let's bring you home shall we?" <p>

"Where are my snacks?" Yuuki asked bending over the couch backwards to see his brother entering the house.  
>"Didn't bring any" Yuuta muttered. Yuuki noticed that his brother seemed exhausted, exhausted but somehow satisfied.<br>"I'm going to sleep. Headache" He heard Yuuta say as he walked up the stairs. Yuuki smiled to himself.  
>His brother was okay again, and maybe he would tell him one day what had been wrong.<br>It was irritating that even though they were twins and shared their lives since their birth;  
>another person had snuck in their little world and was slowly but surely opening his own world for Yuuta.<br>And Yuuki knew that one day, Yuuta would leave their world to live in his own and maybe step into that other person's world.  
>One day Yuuki would have to leave that secure and comfortable world as well.<br>"But he could have brought snacks, seriously" he said to himself, still smiling.


End file.
